"Eliminate weakness and become King!"
Such was the subject line on the spam. And I was intrigued. Was this, in fact, some Machiavellian get-rich quick scheme: "I used to think it could never happen to me, but by using this highly effective system I've now become King of a small African country!"
But no, it was an advertisement for soft-tab Viagra-clones. (and is it not ironic to take Viagra as a "soft tab"? or is that just me?)
Anyhow, I now have the most horrible Infomercial Spam sort of scenario running about in my head....
Dear Friend,
I know you will say that this Could Never Happen to You, but I too thought the same. And I was Wrong! Once my higest aspiration was to rise from Fry Bagger to Manager of my McDonald's. Now I am the King of a small African country! And it is all because a friend showed me a thin pamphlet written by an obscure Fifteenth-Century clerk.
Utilizing the principals of this document and my experience in business and marketing learned in the fast-paced and competitive world of fast food, I was able to assemble an entourage of loyal supporters and unite native tribesmen to topple the corrupt and repressive government of Nile-um-Sur. The grateful people of this tiny region named me their King in honor of the freedom I had helped them to achieve. And with the help of my loyal entourage I am now King, indeed!
And You, too, can be a King! By merely reading the small book I have written about my experiences in Nile-um-Sur and applying the principals which I have adapted and applied myself, you, too can become a King!
I shall be pleased to assist you in your rise to Rulership by mailing you a copy of my book, Kingdom Come, and the accompanying Plans for Rise to Power. For an additional consultation fee, my entourage will assist you in person! All that is required is your assistance with a small banking matter. Simply write to:
Promotions Department
CIA Central Direcorate
Langley, VA....
posted: January 15, 2006
Last night, we celebrated my friend Elisabeth's birthday with an Irish Whiskey tasting party. Ever since her trip to Ireland last year, she's wanted to compare a few versions of the "water of life" which, surprisingly, she didn't get to do at the time--too much driving, not enough drinking.
Now, I've never been a Scotch whisky fan (please note the difference in spelling--no "e" in the Scottish stuff.) With very few exceptions, the Scotch I've been offered has been peaty, smokey, iodine stuff--pretty much the hallmark of most Scotch, though not universal--and I simply don't care for that flavor. So, I leaned toward the un-peated Scotches (such as The Macallan and Oban) and Irish whiskey or the occasional high-end bourbon. Over the past couple of years, I've been investigating Irish and Bourbon whiskey to see what I liked.
There have been fads for Scotch--especially the boutique, peaty, difficult single-malts from the Isles of Islay--which seem to be exactly that: fads. And we're currently in a fad for high-end Kentucky sipping Bourbon (as opposed to Tennessee bourbon--and yes, there's a difference.) But, there never seems to have been an American fad for Irish whiskey and I think it's time we had one.
I got hooked on Irish whiskey when Elisabeth's husband introduced me to Bushmill's Malt 10--a 10-year-old single-malt Irish whiskey from the oldest whiskey distillery in the world. Not long after that, I tried others. Last year, after doing a lot of reading on the subject and talking to bartenders who never seemed to have anything in their stock but Bushmill's or Jameson, I tried a glass of The Tyconnell when I was down in Los Angeles for a funeral. It was lovely and amazing. (The Irish know how to send someone off in style.)
A few months later a bar in Seattle offered up the tail of a bottle of Redbreast and I was converted--Tyconnell not being available there.
I quickly converted my friends to Redbreast, in spite of its price ($42-45/bottle in this area).
So, I was in the interesting position of being the most experienced whiskey-drinker at this gathering. I'm not usually the sophisticated one in that respect, since I've never been a big drinker, nor much of one for spending money on it. With the prospect of the whiskey tasting, I felt I needed to come up with yet another hit as big as the Redbreast had been.
So, I went back to The Tyconnell. It's a right bastard to find in the Seattle area(though not as hard as a bottle of Knappogue Castle, which we never did get). But it turned up in the State Store just a few blocks from my husband's current place of business. So we snatched it up along with another experiment from the lower-end of the price spectrum: Kilbeggan.
Alas for me, the night before the tasting, I came down with a cold. But that didn't stop the proceedings and we had a rather good time after a dinner of chicken stroganoff--my recipe, prepared by Elisabeth, since I preferred not to risk infecting the food.
So, off we went, starting with the low-end, "stock" whiskeys and moving up to the most exotic type at the end. We had seven different whiskies to try.
Here's what we had: Bushmill's (the standard blend. Also called Bushmill's white label or "old Bushmill's"--it's the standard Bushmill's Irish whiskey you see in bars all over the world.) Kilbeggan (another "low-end" stock blended Irish whiskey.) Jameson 12-year old blended Irish whiskey (a mid-class "premium" blended whiskey) Bushmill's Malt 10 (a mid-class single-malt whiskey, similar to the Jameson 12) Redbreast (a single-malt 12-year-old potstill whiskey) The Tyconnell (another single-malt potstill whiskey--"The" is mandatory, since it's named after a famous Irish racehorse of that name and title) Connemara (a specialty, peated single-malt whiskey)
We started with the bottom end with the Bushmill's and the Kilbeggan. Since we all knew Bushmill's we started with that as a reference. (Alas, we had no standard Jameson's with which to ignite the traditional Hatfield-and-McCoy type rivalry). We really should have started with the Kilbeggan. The Bushmill's has a stronger, sweeter taste than the Kilbeggan, which proved to be light, flowery, only slightly sweet and clean--what my husband called "the vodka of Irish whiskey" to universal glares. It was delicious stuff and deserved a better place in the line-up, pretty well eclipsing the Bushmill's, once we cleared our palates enough to taste it after the stronger, more alcoholic taste and heavier finish of the Bushmill's. Not to say I now can't stand Bushmill's, but it's certainly dropped lower on my list of things to drink.
Next we put the two mid-range whiskeys up: Jameson's 12 and Bushmill's Malt 10. This seemed to be a matter of personal taste as both are very similar and the bottle of Jameson's 12 had been open for almost 2 years, so the flavor had shifted mildly with exposure to air, while the Malt 10 was a brand-new bottle on which we cracked the seal--as was the case with all the bottles except the Jamey. The Jameson--which I have disliked in the past--came out better in this tasting; rounder and with a more balanced sweetness than the Malt 10 which was slightly sweeter and harsher, though the "harshness" was relative to the more mature Jameson's. I suspect that the Jameson's would not have fared quite as well if we had cracked a brand new bottle. It seems to be a whiskey that improves with some time to "unfold" in the air. The Bushmill's also had more of a nut flavor while the Jameson tended more toward toffee.
Then on to the heavy-weights I was most interested in comparing head-to-head, personally: The Tyconnell and Redbreast. (Elisabeth capitalizes "Breast" but she seems to be the only one. The label and the information on it make the name into a single, compound word.) Until this moment, I've been a strong fan and advocate of the Redbreast. And I still am, but The Tyconnell ran away with the prize for best pot-still, in spite of being younger. It's also, like the Kilbeggan we started with, quite a bit lighter in color and flavor than its comparison. Very smooth, round, slightly citrus-y smell and a long, but light finish.
We finished up with the Connemara peated whiskey. I didn't care for it, but it's really not quite like the Scotches I've had either. It's got that strong, peaty, smokey, iodine odor and the long, smokey finish of typical Islay Scotches--the Scotch drinkers in the crowd said it was peatier than most Scotch they'd had, but the taste and finish were actually softer and less smokey/iodine than most Islays. I wouldn't know. The flavor under the smoke and iodine was nice, but too thoroughly trampled under the peat smoke for my taste. It didn't make me gag, though, so I think it's still fair to call this an Irish whiskey for Scotch drinkers, but they had better be Glenfiddich fans.
And I retain my crown as Irish whiskey smarty-girl: The Tyconnell and the Kilbeggan turned out to be the favorites of the evening and the tipples to which we all returned. Elisabeth was particularly fond of the Kilbeggan and, since it's actually cheaper than Bushmill's white label and just as available in this area, I suspect it'll become the "ordinary" in their house pretty soon. The rest of us abused The Tyconnell with an occasional foray into the Jameson's 12 and the Redbreast (which--heresy!--makes a fabulous hot toddy; the dark, more toffee-like complexity of the flavor mixes well with the honey and is complemented by the lemon, making the drink into something more enjoyable than just a salve for sore throats and cold nights, though it's rather expensive for "cough syrup.")
Interestingly, Kilbeggan, The Tyconnell, and Connemara are all produced by Cooley distilleries, though The Tyconnell comes from the Locke side of the label. There are quite a few other Irish whiskeies on the market--though some are not available in Washington or the US and some are so high-end, I'll never taste them (think 21-year old single-malts in specialty barrels and such-like.) Still, it'll be fun to try. And in the meantime, the liquor locker on the boat is well-stocked. If you like whiskey.
For my next trick, I hope to get the Bourbon question settled once and for all. I have a great Kentucky called Woodford Reserve I've been corrupting my friends with and I think it's much better than Maker's Mark, Basil Hayden's, or Knob Creek--but is it better than Bookers? Don't know... yet.
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