books, info, and blatant self-promotion

Kat Litter

September, 2006

The Conversational Tar Baby

posted: September 3, 2006

Once in a while I find myself in a conversation--especially online--which has turned into an unpleasantly acrimonious debate over... well, nothing. And I wonder how this happened and I don't like it. I'm always more angry with myself for whatever horrendous turn must have happened--even if I don't know what it was or know it wasn't me who made that turn. My urge is to simply get out, regardless of how utterly stupid I may look. But I do hate to look stupid. So I find myself stuck in something annoying, absurd, and acrimonious and not sure how I got there. I don't want to take the time to backtrace the whole thing and in a real-life, real-time conversation that can't be done, anyway.

I suspect I become prickly and intractable every once in a while and then I simply don't pay enough attention to the warning signs that someone else may be prickly and intractable. Once the conversation is entered and passes that tar-baby moment, we are locked together like a pair of mating porcupines. The acrimony grows, the snippy responses and self-defensive gestures increase on both sides. Inevitably each of us thinks the other one is the unreasonable one who just won't pay attention, just won't concede they were wrong--even if no one was.

I can't help but wonder if this phenomenon's sudden frequency has anything to do with the imminence of my book's publication. Am I practicing to be Harlan Ellison? Am I already tired of smiling and being nice? Do I just need more drinks? Should I have my quills manicured (quillicured?) Maybe I just need better conditioner.

Grr.


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